Question:
My girlfriend and I are always fighting about my sexual needs because she keeps saying NO. She always gives me reasons like she’s tired from work or just simply not in the mood. What causes lack of sexual drive or libido? Is there any solution to this?
Willy:
Men and women have different sex drives from each other. Lack of sex drive or lack of libido is common to some women, but quite rare to other men. The American Medical Association has estimated that several million US women suffer from what doctors call “female sexual arousal disorder” or FSAD. Lack of desire in women can be of either physical or psychological origin.
Physical causes:
• Anemia (which is very common in women because of iron loss during periods)
• Alcoholism
• Drug abuse such as cocaine
• Major diseases such as diabetes.
• Post-baby coolness or the general trauma of childbirth that makes many women too exhausted to think about sex.
• Prescribed drugs, particularly tranquillizers.
• Hyperprolactinaemia - a rare disorder in which the pituitary gland is overactive.
Psychological causes:.
Psychological reasons are very common. It's understandable that when a woman is having a bad time emotionally, she may lose interest in sex.
• depression
• stress and overwork
• anxiety
• hang-ups from childhood
• past sexual abuse or rape
• latent lesbianism
• serious relationship problems with your partner
• difficult living conditions like sharing a home with parents or parents-in-law.
The most important thing to get the right treatment for low sex drive for your girlfriend is to find out whether the problem is psychological or physical because different causes need different treatments.
If you found out that the cause of low sex drive of your girlfriend is one of the psychological factors, you can talk to her about it or spend a romantic time with her that can lead to sexual thoughts and arousal. Open communication can go a long way in helping problems in the bedroom. If the problem persists, go to a professional counselor with your partner.
If your girlfriend’s poor sex drive is caused by one of the physical factors, the basic reason would be hormonal imbalance. Lifestyle change and/or medicine approaches can be applied.
Lifestyle change approach includes:
• techniques for stress reduction such as yoga
• eat foods that are rich in estrogenic nutrients such as soy, apples, alfalfa, cherries, potatoes, rice, wheat and yams
• regular exercise
Medicine and Drugs:
• Alternative medicine such as phytoestrogenic and non-estrogenic herbs
• The most common drug therapy for treating hormonal imbalance in the US is hormone replacement therapy (HRT). You can ask your doctor about this.